Longing & Belonging

That painful sweet Longing that arises slowly inside, and burns the fire of Belonging, to Belong to the ONE are all same. I am that longing and I am that belonging and I am the one whom this longing for belonging. I am the fire that burns and I am the one who burns in the fire and I keep going. Whom to question and what is there to question? Should I ask why the longing is there? Or should I ask for whom this longing for? I exist as Longing, Belonging, and the One, all at the same time and the Leela goes on until eternity. It takes two to tango; right; I am ONE and in Bliss, I play tango, be the lover yearning for the beloved, be the beloved waiting to belong to the lover, and be the love playing itself passionately. I am the One, and can reflect as many, as I please.

It's the same with Pain too. I am the pain, happening to myself. Whom to blame, whom to question? Why reject pain in me, thinking it's something else? Why reject me due to belonging to Pain? I am the cause and I am the effect and I can dissolve all, as I please.

Where is the separation? What is the separation?

When a beloved looks into the mirror, doesn't she sees her lover in her eyes, in her smile? The way she moves, in all her groves, doesn't she feels her lover? He is in each breath she takes, he is in every beat of her heart. She sees him within and without. Is she in him, or is he in her? Is she other than her lover? Both are in union always isn't it? Can mirror really be the separation? Can the world around really cause any separation? No, that mirror is invisible, when she looks it and sees not herself, but him. The world around exists no more, as she is in a union. She is The Union herself, isn't it?

It's the same with Pain too. When in Pain one looks into the mirror, one sees nothing but pain and all the changes that it has caused. In all one's moves and groves, all one feels is the pain. Is one in pain or is the pain in one's existence? Is there any separation, any difference. One is the Pain and Pain is one's existence. And One is in eternal union with Pain too. Why reject, discard any part of ourselves? Can that be done?

That's how Brahm/THAT, and this body, this life, this me are. In Union and The Union. Neither body causes any separation, nor this world. That love, that bond is so.


We have Brain (a physical organ in the skull) which has "sensory centers (bundle of neurons)" which are responsible for taking inputs from our 5 senses. Our body is inert, it cannot enjoy or suffer from those sensory centers like the body cannot eat for itself, the body cannot walk anywhere for itself. Then who drives this body, who enjoys or suffers through those sensory centers? That's the PSYCHOLOGICAL HUMAN (The Experiencer) who does that. This Psychological Human has 4 parts. Manas (Sensory Centers Interface), Buddhi (Intellectual Interface), Chitta (Space/Subtle Interface) and Aham (Personality Interface). Notice that the word I am using here is INTERFACE. Why am I calling it Interface? Because these 4 parts are NOT physical body/organs in us, they are PSYCHOLOGICAL Parts/Tools given to us for proper functioning in life as a Human. 

Since we are born, these Interfaces are functioning, gathering data, through the physical body and the world. Physical body/organs are like Computer Firmware or Hardware. But Firmware/Hardware will not use its high-speed capabilities or faster processor for its own use. And in order, for humans to use it, we need software. The software is that INTERFACE between Human and Computer Hardware. Exactly in the same way this PSYCHOLOGICAL HUMAN is the Interface between the body and the World. And this Psychological Human consists of "Self Learning, Artificial Intelligence" Algorithms/Capabilities in it. So by using this body, and interacting with other people's psychological human and their physical body and this whole world full of tangible, intangible stuff, this Psychological Human keeps on "Self-Learning". 

As I said, this Psychological Human has 4 parts in its own body, Manas, Buddhi, Chitta, Aham. Using Manas part, this Psychological Human keeps recording SENSORY inputs like hot, cold, different smells, different scenes, sounds etc. This gathering of sensory related information happens after a child is born and is less than 3 years of age, slowly using this very same center, Likes and Dislikes starts building, and based on likes and dislikes it develops or breaks Relationships, this means Intellect/Buddhi started functioning and taking control. 

Buddhi/Intellect, provides "POWER OF DISCRIMINATION (VIVEK in Hindi)", FUNCTION to this Psychological Human. So through Manas Interface Psychological Human knows Sensory inputs, but which one is the pain (hot for example) and which one is the pleasure (cold for example), that Discrimination comes from Buddhi/Intellect. Which one is good, which one is bad, which one is safe, which one is a danger, all that comes from Intellect/Buddhi. That's what it means when we say "INTELLECT DIVIDES". Yes! it keeps on dividing everything as per the Laws of this Universe into DUALITY. And it's a double-edged sword. Why is it a Double-Edged Sword? Let's see. So Intellect could be SHARP, we refer to it as Sharp, when Power Of Discrimination has WORKED in the FAVOR of our Body and Life around us. But as it's a Double Edged sword, sometimes it starts working AGAINST the body and life. How? For some people Drugs, too much Alcohol are GOOD, PLEASURE, for some working in Gym breathlessly is GOOD, For some having a Wife is Good, for some having a wife AND 3-4 girlfriends is GOOD. For some speaking Truth is Good, for some lying and considering themselves CLEVER, SMART is good. So you see, this Power of Discrimination works differently for everyone. In some, it stays SHARP enough and while dividing everything into duality it ALWAYS considers Universal Laws, like Karma, Cause, and Effect, and that way it doesn't become harmful for the body and so-called life of that Psychological Human instead takes that Psychological Human on the Journey of Completion, Spiritual Journey. Another important thing to understand here is that good/bad, safety/danger are very relative terms, means imagine a poor kid living among gangsters, for him lying and cheating could be the only ways of survival, will you call it good or bad? So ANY DIVISION done by Intellect is ONLY relative, it has no Absolute meaning. All our likes and dislikes truly are very irrelevant. 

Now Chitta is the Substratum where Vrittis (Psychological PATTERNS) keeps on arising and subsiding. Psychological Patterns are Sensory Inputs+Intellect Division+Emotions. For example, a Vritti is - Fear from water/swimming. Now one may not have faced anything in this life to cause such a Vritti, but he may have died by drowning in some past life, or may have an accidental drowning, not necessarily death. Vrittis have STRONG EMOTION attached to it always. That's why Vrittis are very STRONG to Break. These Vrittis in people drives them one way or the other. Because Vrittis will cause one to DESIRE accordingly. A person may never live around water if he is fearful of it, a person may desire to build a fort around him for his safety. So Vrittis are Psychological Patterns from this life, as well as ALL of past lives. To walk the Spiritual Path, to try to know THAT/Brahm is a Vritti too, and is the HIGHEST QUALITY of Vritti, which is why it is called as "BRAHMAKARA Vritti". Now this Vritti may arise due to Suffering or Faith based "Renunciation" in this life, or due to past life Tapas/Sadhana, but it doesn't matter, what matters is how it shapes, drives anyone's life. WAREHOUSE of ALL Past and Present Life's UNUSED/HIDDEN Vrittis is UNCONSCIOUS MIND, which is accessible only in Deep Sleep. If a Vritti is from Past Life, we call it as SANSKARA (Seed of Karma, which hasn't got a chance to be Tree yet), and if a Vritti is from present life situations, we call it KARMA, specially Prarabdha (Present), or Agami (Future Karma). Means that Psychological Patterns may find 100% fulfillment, completion in the present life, or may find it in Next life. For example, Intention to commit a crime is a Vritti, it's a strong psychological pattern with a mix of strong emotion, it could have been due to past life's karma, or it could have been due to present life situations, and it may find expression, fulfillment in this life or the next one. 

Now comes the last but MOST important part of the Psychological Human, which is AHAM. I did some Internet-based research about the use of word MIND and EGO and their Context in the English Language. So BEFORE Carl Jung and his work became really famous, the word MIND was being used in Spiritual Translations of Original Sanskrit texts. And MIND actually refers to ALL 4 Parts; Manas, Buddhi, Chitta, Aham. But since Carl Jung explained different Personality types using Patanjali's Yoga Sutras, he used the word EGO to refer to the Personality. Ego actually refers to Personality or Personal Identity, it is still not a straight, perfect English translation of the Sanskrit word Aham. But in a loose manner, we can consider that Aham means Ego. But the precise translation of Ego to Hindi word is "AHANKAR". Which is one of the Qualities of Aham, but is NOT Aham. Precise, direct translation of AHANKAR in English is PRIDE/VANITY, which you see is a Quality of Ego. So let's talk about Aham and refrain from using the word Ego and Mind to avoid any confusion.  

AHAM - These days Strategy based Online Gaming is highly famous, and tons of kids and even adults are playing nonstop around the world. One important thing to notice in those strategy based online games is that before you start playing, you have to Create your AVATAR/CHARACTER/FAKE YOU. A particular type of personality, powers, body, mind creature who will be YOUR PLAYER or YOU in the Game. Who will REPRESENT you in that game? So players are given the choice of male, female body, particular race/ethnicity body, hair styles, clothes, and choice of weapons, powers like teleporting, transmutation, thought reading, electric power, water power and this and that. Everything basically that makes a strong character/avatar/personality type for a Player. So players build their Avatars based on their knowledge about the game, playground (if it's forest, or underwater etc), and their choices about body types, hairstyles, clothes and their knowledge/ease of use of weapons. Yea my son is growing up in Information Age, so I know a lot about this Online Gaming Industry. Now we see that these games are ADDICTIVE. And what is the Addiction? That Addiction comes from an emotional attachment to that Avatar/Character. They keep playing thinking oh I died (my Avatar/Character) died, this time, let me increase it's life, it's power, let me make sure it doesn't die this time and cross this level of a game. They feel bad, sad when their Avatar dies in the game, feeling as if they themselves have died. These games are taking advantage of PSYCHOLOGICAL HUMANS in us, and they are the replica of Real Life. While playing, players start feeling emotional about their Avatar/Character and start behaving accordingly. It's a psychological conditioning. 

Now based on the inputs and functions of Manas, Buddhi, and Chitta this AHAM starts developing itself (Self Learning). Aham starts creating Avatar/Fake You/Personality one after the other. You have MANY personalities/faces and that BUNDLE of Personalities is called as AHAM. You could be an Introvert for yourself or some people, but in office, you could appear Ambivert or Extrovert. You could be one way in front of your mom and the other way in front of your wife. You could be one way in private and another way in front of the world. So let's say all these Avatars/Personality types are PUPPETS. Now who or what is managing the Puppet show? AHAM. AHAM is the Control/Command Center for ALL different types of Personalities in you. AHAM is the one which ACTIVATES or DEACTIVATES different personalities at different times. Now understand that Every Personality in you will have a certain amount of PRIDE/VANITY which has been extracted as a result of different ACHIEVEMENTS in Life. The one who is financially rich may have PRIDE for his/her achievement of money, and in front of his friends he/she may end up displaying that, but in front of his "even richer" friend/family member/anyone he may seem VERY HUMBLE, the Pride may be hidden, means AHAM Activated the HUMBLE Personality in him given the situation. So Aham activates/deactivates personalities according to the situations and the CONTROLLER of ALL Personalities is ANOTHER Personality in AHAM. So layer after layer after layer keeps on developing in that Psychological Human and this AHAM becomes very STRONG. 

Whole life the REAL YOU stays hidden beneath the layers (different personalities/fake you) of AHAM. And that's the story of life for most people. Sad it is though. 


Now when Jnani/Gyani/Self-realized one talks about dropping MIND, they are talking about AHAM. Now this word "dropping" is another interesting confusing word which is always MISUNDERSTOOD. 

So now if we say Dropping mind means "Killing/Leaving/Abandoning" Aham/All Personality types, then HOW IS IT POSSIBLE? It's NOT Physical, it's the part/domain of Psychological Human, it's Intangible. You don't know HOW YOU ARE HOLDING SOMETHING, and then HOW CAN YOU DROP IT? If you have to Kill/Leave/Abandon/Drop ALL your personality types, then should you go one by one, or what should you do? 

In order to understand that, you need to understand TWO Steps here. First, you need to understand, HOW YOU ARE HOLDING AHAM? Then you need to understand WHAT IS THE MEANING OF DROPPING AHAM/MIND?

Let's see HOW YOU ARE HOLDING AHAM? So that Controller Type of Main Personality type holds ALL other personality types in you. Each personality gives you a certain type of HAPPINESS/PLEASURE/FEEL GOOD Factor. And being able to play all roles through different personality types is what gives you Great Satisfaction. So in bits and pieces, YOU ARE ATTACHED to different personality types and you have a CEMENTED ATTACHMENT with that MAIN Controller personality type. 

Now is it WRONG to be one way or the other in different situations? Is it wrong to have all these personality types? How come it is wrong for me to be Ambivert in office, and Introvert otherwise? How is it wrong for me to be a worldly person for some, and Jnani/Gyani for some? How is it wrong for me to show emotional love to someone and a cold shoulder to other? If the ENTIRE FUNCTION of AHAM is wrong/useless, then why the heck we came packaged with that?

No! There is NOTHING wrong with AHAM. It should NOT be killed/abandoned/dropped for its use. Do I, after being Self Realized not have a properly functioning AHAM? Yes, I do. That's how I am able to behave one way or the other as per the situations, people, and the environment around me. THEN WHAT IS WRONG? WHAT NEEDS to be DROPPED? or WHAT IS MEANT BY DROPPING MIND/AHAM?

So you understand that you are holding AHAM through your ATTACHMENT to it. So that ATTACHMENT needs to be Dropped. (Silence!). Yes!

Now, what causes that Attachment? DERIVING Pleasure/fake happiness/Pride is the CAUSE of ATTACHMENT in us. Stop taking Pride through various personality types in you, Stop deriving pleasure from all those, and your Attachment will be dissolved. AHAM is not the cause of suffering, YOUR ATTACHMENT to AHAM is the cause of suffering. Like one's kid or dog or relationship or anything is not the CAUSE of a problem, but the underlying ATTACHMENT to them is the CAUSE of problems/suffering/blockage. One may keep on playing online games 24 by 7, or may keep on drinking alcohol endlessly, or may keep on feeling fearful or sulking in life, is that online game a problem, is alcohol a problem, NO... It's one's attachment that is the problem and root cause of suffering. 

How did that Attachment got developed? Through DERIVING Pleasure/Fake Happiness from that. 

So only your attachment needs to be dropped which you have with your mind/aham by STOPPING to take Pride/Pleasure/Fake Happiness from the Pursuits of your mind. And that's what is meant by "dropping mind". The moment you get a feeling of Pride or Pleasure, or that Fake/temporary Happiness comes in you, STOP right there, and talk to yourself, explain yourself that it's USELESS. 

Now WHO is taking that Pride/Pleasure from the pursuits of mind? ANOTHER FAKE PERSONALITY CREATED BY MIND/AHAM. NOT YOU! NOT THE REAL YOU. And this is the most important point to understand and can only be understood through the use of BUDDHI/INTELLECT, which puts VIVEK/Power of Discrimination into use, and says, BABY, it's NOT YOU who is deriving pain/pleasure from anything in life, it's that FAKE personality or AHAM deriving it, so DROP your attachment to it, and you should be fine. This exact display/use of Buddhi/Intellect when keeps happening continuously gives rise to BRAHMAKARA Vritti, which is to finally KNOW/Directly Experience the TRUTH/DIVINE. Yes Intellect Divides everything into DUALITY, but yes the BEST division it does is by telling us "WHO AM I"? and WHO IS FAKE I/ME? Every time we hit the Fake I, it tells us. That's why "Power of Discrimination" is the BEST POWER in us. And using this power we can kill The Experiencer, and this is how we drop mind/aham/ego.

Next >> What happens when The Experiencer is dead when mind/ego/aham is dropped?

~ Adiguru
Experiencing, Knowing and Being are, "Three stages of Existence", three planes where we exist, three levels of Consciousness as we exist, Three Reflections of THAT/Brahm. Experiencing is the Gross Reflection of THAT, Knowing is the Subtle Reflection of THAT, Being is the Causal Reflection of THAT. These are also the Three stages of Waking Consciousness, Deep Sleep Consciousness, and Consciousness of the 4th State, Turiya which is called as Beyond. These are also the Three Hindu Gods viz, Brahma, Vishnu, Mahesh (Shiva). 

If you try to align them on the Spiritual Path, then yes we are Born as Experiencer, with Enlightenment it is dead, and we live as a Knower, then with Self Realization Knower is dead, and we live as Being. So these Three stages of Realization/Living/Consciousness have TWO Events in between, one is Enlightenment, one is Self Realization. Net Resultant of living as a Being is LIBERATION/MOKSHA.

From the perspective of Tantra, Experiencer belongs to three lower chakras, Knower belongs to three upper chakras, and Being is 7th Chakra where Shakti is in Union with Shiva.

Read more about each one of them as below:

Below is Beyond Existence & Non-Existence - 

ABSOLUTE - http://unifiedwholeblog.blogspot.com/p/absolute.html  - Beyond Existence & Non-Existence

Note - If you look at the Top Navigation of this blog, you will see 4 items along with HOME as EXPERIENCING, KNOWING, BEING, ABSOLUTE. These 4 are added as dedicated pages as these three stages comprise of whole life. And 4th one is BEYOND. Time to time, I will keep adding stuff to these pages. 

~ Adiguru

Note: This article has been republished on Realization.Org and here is the link - http://realization.org/


Many books and people recommend that having a living Spiritual Guru in one's life is an absolute must and no one can progress without one. My direct experience of Guru is very different, though. 

I have/had no living Guru in this life, like many other Self Realized ones. I understand and agree with the fact that living Guru can save us from lots of downfalls and can uplift us when needed. But first we need to understand that Guru is NOT a Physical Body. Guru is THAT, Guru is the All-Pervading Self. Guru is Everywhere and so Guru is in Everyone. It can't be otherwise. Whenever I needed guidance or direction in life, some book, sometimes even just a sentence from here or there, took my whole attention and showed me what direction I should take. One after the other books that I purchased, if now I look at the sequence in which I read them, it all seems very well planned, it all seems perfectly arranged. Every person that I met was giving me a message, was showing me something within me, and it all worked the way a real living Guru would have. When I was going through my Self Realization and was struggling, my friend Rob Sacks, just appeared from nowhere and pushed me into it, so the process can be completed sooner. My two other friends, Carol Hopkins, and Arathi Kurahatti kept pushing me to write or record what I am going through and kept me in this body. When I went into long Self-Absorption sessions, kids & my family kept on demanding my attention one way or the other to bring back my body consciousness. My friend was driving me around so I do not have to drive for few days. Guru is Self, and Guru is Everywhere and Guru is in Everyone. So Guru played through my friends, my family, kids around me, as and when I needed. Entire Universe became my Guru, and I had so many around me all the time, to make my journey successful. I can never say enough Thanks to all of them, whose presence helped me walk the path of Liberation.  

तस्मै श्री गुरवे नमः
~ Adiguru

Awareness of Being Alive

Let's see what the deepest, darkest rooted FEAR or IGNORANCE in humans is? 

We all understand intellectually that "Enlightenment" is DEATH. Self Realization is the ACCEPTANCE of DEATH and SURRENDER of WILL. Liberation is Net Resultant of Self Realization. Falling into or Living in Emptiness/Void/Nothingness is like LIVING THE DEATH. Yes, it seems like a Paradox, but it is not. When one seeks Enlightenment, one intellectually knows that one is asking for death, but ONLY the death of Mind, Emotions, EGO etc. No one is asking for the Death of the Body. No one is asking for the DEATH of LIFE in them. And LIFE here means, living as an Enlightened Being, living as a Spiritual Teacher, or a Guru, or a Saint, or a Mystic, or something else on those lines or a Mother or Bread Earner of the family and something on worldly lines. THEY ARE NOT ASKING FOR ALL THIS. Right? Rarely anyone would seek Enlightenment if it brings death to the body if it brings death to the living being itself. WHY? Because of the FEAR. What Fear? Fear that one may become physically challenged and may not have anyone by their side to take care of them. Fear of not being able to earn a decent living for himself/herself. Fear of not being able to operate their body in a proper way. Fear of being NOBODY, Fear of being UNKNOWN to the world forever. Fear of not being able to LIVE the Bliss of being an Enlightened person. Fear of NOT being able to lecture/teach people. Fear of not being able to write any books, Fear of not being able to DISPLAY their knowledge/path/wisdom to anyone. Fear of not being able to show or tell anyone what mystical powers they have got. Why? Because all these FEARS are tied to ONLY one thing, Fear of not having a BODY and if one is able to OVERCOME that, there still lies a FEAR OF DEATH OF LIFE, FEAR OF LOSING ALIVENESS WITHIN. It is VERY DIFFICULT, ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE to sense, understand this Fear, or see the FACE of this Underlying Fear. Everyone wants to FEEL ALIVE, have an AWARENESS or SENSE of being ALIVE. Nobody wants to LOSE that. The whole effort of doing ANYTHING in life is trying to FEEL ALIVE at one or many levels, through one or many aspects, many ways. The pursuit of life is just this, isn't it? People are FEARFUL of getting into deep, dark depression or psychosis or any other mental imbalance. Why? BECAUSE they fear LOSING that ALIVENESS, they fear the loss of AWARENESS that SENSE of BEING ALIVE.

Now let's understand this "Sense/Awareness of Aliveness" little more. Why do you think people drink alcohol or drugs, or do adventure sports, or sex, build relationships, or go speed racing, or anything like that? To STRENGTHEN their Awareness of being Alive. Isn't it? In simple words, we say "we feel alive" by doing so. Even HELPING others, Financially, Emotionally, Physically, Professionally, Mentally, Intellectually, Spiritually or whichever way, makes us FEEL ALIVE. What are OTHER WORDS that we wrap this ALIVENESS into? We say we feel meaningful, purposeful, useful, thrilled, excited, blissful, happy, elevated, successful etc in life. But all these words are DIFFERENT ways of Wrapping the Sense/Awareness of ALIVENESS WITHIN. When we are sick, even with Fever, or Migraine, or Viral or anything, why do we want to get up from the bed as soon as possible? Why do we want to come out of it as soon as possible? Because IT TOOK AWAY our Sense/Awareness of BEING ALIVE. It takes away our ALIVENESS, physically, mentally or whichever way you want to look at it. Why do we fear Depression, Psychosis or any other physical or mental disability because it takes away our sense/awareness of being alive, right? Why do you think some Spiritual Enthusiasts are so much into and after Kundalini and Energy experiences, why do you think people want to have Mystical Experiences? Why do you think people even want to feel Divine Energy (wrapped as DIVINE LOVE), or a Divine Person's Energy? It makes them FEEL HIGHLY ALIVE. They wrap this "HIGHLY ALIVE FEELING" into other words, like Divine Love, Worthy of being Divine, Deserving Enlightenment or Liberation and all that, there could be MANY MANY wrappings and NICE WORDS for all this. But regardless of all words and wrappings, at the core, at the root, it is nothing but AWARENESS OF BEING ALIVE. So AT ALL COST we want to KEEP THAT, MAINTAIN THAT, sense of being alive. At NO COST we are EVER ready to GIVE IT UP. Who is this who doesn't want to give it up? Who is it in us who is clinging to it? EGO! Not the REAL YOU.

Why? EGO can NEVER understand what it means to be truly ALIVE. Ego doesn't know that who we are is ETERNAL ALIVENESS. Ego wants to have Aliveness Felt, Retained, Defined in its own way of understanding. Ego is part of MIND, it will NEVER understand that it's not something for the EGO to understand EVER. Ego fears, What if after being Enlightened/Self-Realized, NO REFLECTION comes out? What if there is NO LIVING BEING left to EVEN KNOW whether there is/was someone Enlightened, or became Pure Consciousness or Divine? All this is NOT for an understanding of EGO. So it FEARS, it RUNS AWAY from all this and clings to its own meanings and definitions of being alive.

It is NOT WRONG to have this FEAR, it is NOT WRONG to FEEL this way, it is NOT WRONG to Acknowledge that it's a HARD thing to live with. The First STEP is to ACCEPT and ACKNOWLEDGE that you have this Fear, instead of running away, or hiding somewhere or putting up a face that says no no I am fine. Once you ACCEPT and YOU KNOW that you have ACCEPTED, then we can do something about it. If you do not accept that there is a hair or dust in your eye and you keep on endlessly blinking and thinking oh I see fine, then HOW CAN YOU DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT? You are DENYING it's PRESENCE. So first thing is to accept that "it's OK to have this fear", "it's OK to be this way", ACCEPT the PRESENCE of this FEAR.

Why is it OK to feel this way? Why is it OK to have this Fear? Why is it OK to have an ATTACHMENT to this FEAR? The answer is simple!

Didn't we all SIGN-UP to be packaged as HUMANS who will have Ego, Fears, Anxieties, Emotions and all that? Did we not sign-up to be ABLE TO FUNCTION IN DUALITY/IGNORANCE/MAYA/DREAM WORLD/ILLUSIONARY WORLD? Now how can we FUNCTION in DUALITY without having FEARS? Doesn't fear GUARDS us in one way or the other all through our life? Doesn't Fear HELPS US STAY ALIVE by not taking useless risks? Doesn't it WARN us on time? Isn't ANXIETY that gut feeling which tells us sometimes that there is something wrong and we take necessary actions timely? Isn't EGO actually the BIGGEST PROTECTOR of our Body and MIND? Isn't it the Ego who is always busy in "Self Preservation" in one way or the other, and so we can stay ALIVE to this date, to this age? Aren't our Attachments responsible for SHAPING our life to a greater extent? Did not Attachments defined and made us who we are today? Did not attachments MADE US, SHOWED US that we are Loving, Caring, Passionate Human Beings. So then WHO SAYS ALL THIS NEEDS TO BE DISCARDED OR DELETED OR NEGLECTED OR REMOVED? Why do we need to do that? No way! We do not need to kill or discard or give away all these. We need to SEE THEM AS THEY ARE. We need to SEE THEIR TRUE PURPOSE that they are there for. These are TOOLS for us to LIVE and should be understood that way and left as is. No need to FIGHT them or try to Kill them. It won't work. Enlightened people have FEARS too, they show up as stomach growling or sudden change in energy and they immediately take action to SAVE their body, their energy. Do they NOT HAVE RIGHT to save their body? Do they not have right to exist in Body? Do they have no right to save their energy? Do they have no right to be human? Do they have no right to exist and play roles in Maya, Dream World? YES, THEY DO HAVE ALL THESE RIGHTS STILL! Being Enlightened doesn't mean feeling so IMMORTAL that you start driving your car in opposite direction in the wrong lane. It doesn't mean keep talking, lecturing, spending energy on others endlessly. It doesn't mean not eating or drinking or fulfilling other bodily needs as they arise. It doesn't mean STOP LIVING in any way. It doesn't mean Not Feeling ALIVE in any way. But TRULY ALIVE, not the Ego's understanding of Being Alive. So how can any Enlightened, Self-realized or No-Self person LIVE in their BODY and LIVE on this Planet Earth without WEARING THEIR GARB/Clothes/Costume OF EGO AGAIN? Once Ego is understood for its TRUE purpose and meaning, ALL Enlightened/Self Realized people WEAR it again, like a Costume, to play, to live in this world. They not only wear their Ego back, they wear Anger and Emotions too. You think I will NOT get Angry if someone punches me, God swear I will punch them back. You think I will not push people away from me if I think they are not there yet for me to do something about them? Yes, I will, this is Ego in function. Do you think I do not pat or hug or show love to my son or kids/people around me? I do, those are Emotions put to right use. So After being Enlightened/Self-Realized, we again start with ALL that we had before, it's like completing the 360 degrees circle journey. You are back again on the same starting point and you start in the RIGHT PERSPECTIVE now. You use the tools (fears, ego, emotions etc) for their right purpose, for living here and living in the body. So there is NOTHING wrong with Fears, Emotions and Ego, ALL you need to do is UNDERSTAND THEM IN RIGHT PERSPECTIVE.

~ Guru

In need for Self-Love; who is it that loves whom?

First, understand what is meant by “Self” when we say Self-Love. In Western theories, in the philosophy, it is mentioned as “self”, while in all Spiritual Books, Texts it’s mentioned as “Self”. Self in Modern world, Western Philosophy is referring to Physical Body, Mind, Emotions and all Gross Identities that one may have. So when one has to practice Self-Love, implement it in life, they have to have a Subject-Object relationship, and one can implement it by loving, caring for their body, mind, emotions, going easy on them, be forgiving, be caring for their body, mind, emotions. So when it's about body, mind, emotions, then there is something "to do" in order to experience it, achieve it.

Quite opposite of this is Self that is mentioned in Spiritual Books and Scriptures, because there “Self” is being referred to “Soul/Atma”. We know we are Soul, and we have a body, we have a mind, we have emotions. We are not our body, we are not our mind, and we are not our emotions. We do not have to mistake our Identity as Body, Mind or Emotions. When I say Mind here, I am considering the Ego too and all the personalities that ego creates, like “happy me”, “unhappy me”, “poor me” etc.

Now “Love” as per your mind's understanding is something that can be given or taken. And you identify with your mind, so Love for you is something that someone from outside needs to give you and you can give them. Your mind is looking for a Subject-Object-Relationship. But that’s not true. Expression of love can be exchanged, can be given or taken, Love itself cannot be given or taken because Love is a STATE. State of What? State of the SOUL. Expression of it comes out in various ways, it could be displayed through our emotions, through touch, through a hug, talks, creativity, or something else, or it may not need any expression at all. In life, in duality, we experience that state through somebody or something else, because to know what we have inside, it needs to be reflected and for reflection, it needs to have a Surface/background, which could be other humans, animals, birds, plants, flowers or anything. All the time you are in this LOVE STATE, but you don’t know it. Because you are identified with your body, mind, ego and emotions, which feeds on duality, the subject-object relationship, and you are always busy with your mind, ego, emotions or body. So whole life in order to find love people keep running outward, towards other people or God. It’s the similar thing with happiness. A person could be happy within, WITHOUT any external reason, but still most people chase happiness outside. One could be in a very pleasant mood without any reason, and people will end up asking him/her the reason behind their pleasant mood or happiness, because mind needs "association/relationship", in order to understand something, to know something, but there may not be any reason, one may simply be joyful within. 

Self-Love means the Soul’s State of Love, it’s a natural state to be. So there is no need to achieve it. You can’t go around achieving, doing, getting what you already have, what you already are. The problem is, you DO NOT Experience it. You think it’s like a light bulb, at times it’s ON, and most of the time it’s OFF and you run around trying to figure out how to turn it ON, you reach out to other people, you try to change circumstances, and you try to DO SOMETHING to turn the Switch on. But it can’t be turned ON PERMANENTLY from something outside, yes TEMPORARILY (falsely)  it can be turned on from outside like you can be in the company of happy, loving people, money making job, or visiting scenic vistas. What you need to understand is that the switch for the light bulb is PERMANENTLY ON, you need to do nothing from outside to turn it on. That light bulb is ALWAYS ON. You ONLY have to remove those tons of Light/Lamp shades that you have placed on it. Now, what are those lamp shades? What is preventing you experiencing your own natural state? Your OWN MIND, which keeps telling you, this is wrong, that is bad, this isn’t right, you made a mistake, you are not doing good, you are messed up, you are sick, you are unhappy and all those long self-pity, sob stories that your mind keeps on churning and you keep on BUYING into that. You need to STOP buying into the nonsense of your mind. How? Focus on your breath, do meditation, fix your Pranic energy. Mind creates those stories, by reminding you of your past deeds, past choices, past intentions, actions, or Future imaginations, future goals, agendas. Mind relies on memories (past) and imagination (future) to tell you that you are unhappy now because you were happy earlier, condition (person/job/money/child/nature/situations) to be happy was that, which is not there now, so you are unhappy. Memories/The Past or Imagination/Future for the mind is Point A, and your NOW/Present is Point B, TIME is a Reference point for the mind. The way you lived that Point A or the way you will live in future, a mind creates the perception/definition of happiness for you. Now that perception is NOT there, so according to mind’s definition point B is an unhappy situation. And you buy into it, oh yea right, this is why I am unhappy, let me try to RECREATE (Past) or CREATE (Future) those situations so I can be happy and there you go….on a long pursuit of happiness, which will again be Temporary. Because the world is changing every moment, people change, everything changes, then where is PERMANENCE? YOU! You are Permanence. Your Soul’s State of Love is Permanent, so stop buying into your own mental stories, theories, stop dwelling in PAST or FUTURE. The less you will pay attention to mind, the more you will dwell in NOW and the more you will be able to experience your own permanent state of love. To experience it you need to exercise your own individual volition, to NOT listen to the stories of your mind, so yes it is an individual choice. This is what Self-Love is.

~ Adiguru
It's not about whom I can teach anything or not, it's about who can be taught anything at all. Let me tell you a small incident here. I used to learn Horse Riding while I was in High School. Initially for a couple of times my Trainer/Coach gave me a horse that was docile, and the horse followed my commands 80% of the time, considering I was new to all that too. Another few times he gave me a horse that did exactly opposite of all my commands, I tried to turn him left, he went right, I tried to stop him, and he kept going. One time my trainer gave me a horse which did not move at all. No matter what I did for forty-five minutes, I couldn't move that horse on the ground even an inch. Very frustrated, I climbed down, walked away and I approached my Trainer and asked him, what kind of horse you gave me today, he is not moving at all, he is not doing anything at all. He laughed and said Horse Riding is not only about Riding/Controlling a Horse. Horses are not Cars, for all cars first gear, second gear, neutral, brakes are same, all will behave in similar way, but horses won't. You need to learn how to handle, how to deal with different horses. 

I did not become a professional horse rider, but I learnt a very important lesson of my life that day. So you see, its the same thing. Some people are really serious about their Spiritual Life, their Spiritual Growth and they will make their best efforts to move forward. Some will do the opposite of what is being told to them, I am still fine spending some time with them hoping that someday they will be able to follow exact directions, but there is a limit until when I just leave them alone. But some just want to be in the Spiritual Field, but will NOT move even an inch despite all my efforts, and I am left with no choice but to walk away from such people. And it's not that I feel happy about such situations. I pity them, I feel concerned about them because the opportunity to walk the path of liberation arises ONCE in many lifetimes, and these people have no idea what they are losing, so I feel much love and concern for such people, and I hope for their genuine return.

~ Adiguru
You are asking this question because you do not understand Cosmic Laws, you do not have direct experience of Unified Whole. When everything is ONE, then who can do what for others? To whom do I need to feel responsible for? And if I am responsible enough for this piece of life (me), then am I not being responsible for others as well? If I can conduct this life (me) very well, then am I not conducting it for the sake of entire Universe, this whole Cosmos? Is my life, me, SEPARATE from this Universe, World, Cosmos? No. Entire Universe is within me, and I am this whole Cosmos. Moral Obligations are for those, who think that they are separate from this world, from others. The Sense of responsibility comes when you think you are different, separate than others. When you will understand that it's ALL ONE, we are NOT separate beings, then you will keep yourself BLISSFUL and PEACEFUL at all costs, and that way this World, this Universe will be taken care of automatically. Regardless of where your physical body is, your Energy body will be boundless to uplift the energy all around. You will be LOVE, that's all that is needed. 

When everyone around is in low energy, unhappy, suffering, then the BEST way to help them is that I within myself stay peaceful, in the high energy, and blissful, then only I can do something about anyone else. As they say during flights, put your Oxygen mask first then help the fellow passenger. So the first obligation that you have is for yourself. No wise one (Gyani/Jnani/Self Realized) forgets about the obligation towards ENTIRE UNIVERSE and goes around the world, people beating the drums of Social, Moral responsibilities, and obligations. Because if one piece of life can be kept at ABSOLUTE, many around can be benefited without doing anything else, whether they realize it or not, recognize, understand it or not. It's like because only a handful of Soldiers are standing and protecting a passage into our Country from mischievous ones, the entire population can sleep peacefully. Whether people realize it or not, pay attention to that fact or not, pay gratitude to those Soldiers or not, that's a different thing. A Soldier doesn't become a Soldier because he/she wanted an entire country to recognize their presence, or work. He/She becomes a Soldier because their Sense of Responsibility has grown that large, large enough to include entire Country. In the same way, Gyani/Jnani/Self Realized one's sense of responsibility has grown to the level of entire Universe. Divinity is ALL INCLUSIVE. Then where is the question of this, that, his, her, or others? Everyone is ME, and I am Everyone else. It is very hard for some people to understand all this because their sense of responsibility and care for others is tied to their own expectations, their own feel good factor, their own distorted CARING, and RESPONSIBLE personality that they have created within. It's very hard for them to understand how can you be responsible for others, without expecting anything in return, without expecting any recognition from them, without expecting any feel good factor within. It's a journey from DOER-SHIP to NO DOER-SHIP as the DOER is DEAD. We often find such people cribbing, complaining that I did this for her and that for him, but they never cared, they did exactly opposite, they did not give me credit, I wasn't recognized here and there, by him or her, this way or that way and because of all these uncaring people, and my expectations not being met, now I am miserable. Such people have WRONG sense of moral obligations and responsibility and care. 

~ Adiguru
Reflection can best be understood, learnt, by pointing out, showing mirror in exact moments. If you give me a situation, I won’t leave a chance to show you the mirror with brutal honesty. (Laughs). Now when I do that, you start boiling and your mind, ego, emotions, your entire existence goes on fire. Why? See, egotistical anger arises due to fear. What fear you have when I show you the mirror? Fear of losing an Identity of being a sane, noble, caring, responsible, intelligent, clever, important, friend or whatever personality/identity, a fake image you have created for yourself in front of me or the world. Reflection is a process of breaking ALL Identities within you. So your mind, ego starts doing tantrums. When I explain you, you go into denial and start justifying your behavior and rationale behind it. 

What are you achieving by doing so? Nothing, you are wasting your time & energy. For me, for this world, for this Universe, and most importantly for yourself, either you are Enlightened, or you are in the Process. And because you are in the process, you need to understand one thing, how many lifetimes do you need more to finish the process? On one side you say, you want to finish this process, in this lifetime. But on the other side, your ego tantrums prove it otherwise. I have no problem either way. But if you want to spend few more lifetimes learning this very same thing, please go away, stay away, and do not waste my time, do not come back cribbing that your life sucks and you want to walk the path of Liberation. I would rather spend my time with serious people. I did not say even once that walking this path is an easy feat. I always told you it’s like walking straight through the hell. It hurts, it’s painful. By doing tantrums, you are only stopping your own progress, it won’t change anything for me. You have to be concerned about your Liberation, your well-being, you have to be serious about it. I can only help to certain extent, it’s your responsibility, not mine. You should care for it enough, I do not. If you understand this very well, then it won’t be difficult to control your behavior. Another point to understand here is that it's NOT wrong to feel hurt, or be on fire, in such moments. But it will be helpful if instead of throwing that fire outside, you use it to REFLECT more within. You should start realizing in such moments that a CHANGE is needed within you, a TRANSFORMATION is needed within you, then just shut up your mouth. If you are throwing that fire outward, you are wasting it, you are SKIPPING a chance to Transform yourself. Is that what you want? This is very important to understand because it's NOT me through whom you will learn all the lessons of life, you will learn it through other people around you, they will reflect what you have inside. But if you keep on wasting your much-needed fire, energy, and time by throwing egotistical anger tantrums, cribbing, complaining, then ONLY YOU are at LOSS, no one else. I seriously do not have time to deal with Tantrum Masters!

~ Adiguru

How do we go about making life changing decisions?

If you understand that your life is your making, then what is stopping you from making a life altering decision? An important point to consider is, does your life changing decision involves only you or does it impacts, involves others as well? If it involves only you, then you need to be courageous and have faith in yourself to make it happen. If it involves others also, then it’s a matter of their consent too, then it becomes a joint, combined decision and not yours alone. To make such joint decisions, you need to take care of other’s interests and well-being too, not yours alone, only then that decision will work out, or else it will be a constant struggle, which you may not want. 

~ Adiguru

How do we go about forgiving others for wrong doings?

This is a very good question. There are many ways to forgive others, but the REASON to forgive is only one. When someone does something wrong, bad to you then you react. Sometimes the reaction is visible, external, like someone punches you and you punch them back. But other times reaction may not be external, physical. Wrong/Bad doings by anyone can hurt you in many ways. Physically, Financially or Emotionally. Hurt or wound may or may not be physical or financial, but it is definitely emotional in you, and that’s the reason you are asking this question. So you are carrying an emotional wound in you and you want to heal it, let it go. 

Forgiving may seem like something being done to another person, other than you yourself, but it is a “Reflection” of the emotional wound/scar in you. So the ONLY reason to forgive someone is because you want to “heal yourself”. Forgiving is not an act of pride or charity or greatness. You are not forgiving someone to help them. You are forgiving to help yourself. You have a sore wound in you, and it’s not letting you breathe and live and you want to heal it. Now how important it is for you, to heal yourself? Did you reach a point where it is an absolute necessity? If yes, then just visualize the person who had hurt you, in your mind and say this to yourself “I forgive you for everything that you have done to me, you were only human”. Keep repeating it every day for few weeks to let it sink in your heart. Slowly the healing inside you will take place, and you will be free of your emotional wound. Here, mind it, you are not only accepting that the other person is human to make mistakes, you are accepting your own human-ness too. Humans do get hurt and humans do forgive others. Every time you forgive someone, your ego breaks. Why? Because you connect the act of forgiving to "someone" else. Once you understand that you are not forgiving for the benefit or sake of that other person, instead you are forgiving for yourself, to heal your own wound, your mind/ego won’t do much drama. Now, another point to understand here is, that every situation in our life is teaching us a lesson. It could be the lesson of Self-Love, Self-Worth. How does one learn the lesson of Self-Love, Self-Worth? By healing their emotional wounds and in order heal them, you have to forgive others. 

~ Adiguru

What is your plan for future? What will you be doing?

I do not have any plans, goals or agendas to live life now. Whichever way Divine wishes "this" to live, it will live that way only. For now I have this website for people to reach out to me, and I have some serious people going through their spiritual journey, whom I keep an eye on and try to help them from time to time. For living, earning I am still working as a Software Professional. How it will be tomorrow, I do not know that. Once the "Will" is surrendered through Self Realization, then there is no one within to even try to know what will tomorrow bring. I am either blissful, or peaceful and life just keep going around me, it's fun. I am totally in love with everything and nothing. (Laughs)

~ Adiguru
If you are asking did I divorce because of my Spiritual Pursuits, then no, it wasn't because of my longing for Divine. (Laughs) It was a decision based upon some facts and it was a mutual, peaceful closure after being married for 14 years. We all are humans and at times have to respect and value our own boundaries and limits. My Ex-Husband is a good father, nice person and I still stay in touch with him on human and friendly grounds. Other than that, yes, I had some close friends and circle of friends, who couldn't understand my need for "isolation" and the way my life went on a different tangent and I have to part ways with many of them. I stopped going to many gatherings and have to decline almost all the invitations, as I couldn't justify living that way. Nowadays, I do prefer one on one long discussions, talks, and I still avoid social gatherings where people put up a fake face and fake smile. 

~ Adiguru
Don't you feel confused when you go to buy a Mobile Phone or Car? There are so many make & models and features. What do you do then? How do you arrive at a conclusion to buy one or the other? You take a deeper look at your "NEED". Not your "want". Though in the era of consumerism, people do buy out of "want" too. But for discussion and understanding sake, let's stick to the "need". So you take a deeper look at your needs, you see what you can and cannot do, given your life situations. You see how far you can stretch yourself? And based on YOUR OWN ANALYSIS DEEP WITHIN you decide which Cell Phone or Car to buy.

 Exactly, in the same way, you should be doing the analysis within you, and then should walk the path that works best for you. And like how you feel happy about so many makes, models, choices available, so you should be happy that there are many ways to walk the path of Liberation. The population of the earth is 7.3 Billion people and there are less than 50 Self Realized Masters whom public/people can reach out to. It doesn't give you very many choices frankly, but you feel deluded as you do not know what is it that you need? What is it that you are trying to do with your life? Are you seeking "Well-being" or are you actively seeking "Liberation", both of these two are very different journeys. Analyze your need within and go that way. I cannot forcefully create the desire for Liberation in you, or for Renunciation in your mind. I do not have a magic wand to Mass Enlighten people. (Laughs)

~ Adiguru
At random, sometimes I may hug a child or someone in pain, or may hold someone's hand. Divine Mother within may function that way. I do not deny the human need for unconditional love, a hug, and holding hands. But an important point to understand here is that I am not my body. There is nothing that one can get extra, by touching this body, or touching my feet. Whatever can be achieved, can be just by thinking about me. No need to see this body even, I am not my body. No need to get attached to this physical body. 

~ Adiguru

Do you still get angry?

All emotions are nothing but tools, to live life, to get things done, and they can be used when necessary. So yes, when Anger is needed to bring the change in someone or to change something, or to get something done, I do display anger. I do not hold it, though. I cannot hold any emotion longer than it is necessary. Don't forget some of the Zen Masters used to Spank their Disciples. No wonder, if someday you see me walking with a stick in my hand too. (Laughs)

~ Adiguru
Rudraksh is a seed from a tree, and it creates the cocoon around you of your energy, it is helpful while walking the Spiritual Path, as every ounce of energy matters. Everything is energy and one is bound to lose a lot of their good energy when one has to stay all day long in offices, in between people, crowded places. So better wear something that can help you. I am still working as a Software Professional and I am in between people from morning till evening. I did not have the luxury to pursue my Spiritual Life in a secluded environment. As Adyashanti mentioned in one of his book that these days, someone may be Enlightened over the weekend, and they may be in an office by Monday. This is exactly how it happened with me. While and After Enlightenment, Self Realization my life, my routine, my work everything stayed the same for me. I have a family, my son to take care of. I am a Divorced, Single mom and I cannot afford to not work as of now. So when life is functional all around, then better wear something, or do something that saves your energy, and keeps you going on your spiritual path. I did not want to wait until I am 60 years old, and retired, to fulfill my longing for Liberation. (Laughs)

~ Adiguru

You eat Non-Veg. Why?

You have a preset notion how the Self-Realized ones should be. How they should talk, dress, behave, teach and all nonsense. You have seen many Religious Masters, Gurus who do not eat many things or maintain a different public personality. Not all Self Realized ones really revealed their life behind the walls of their house, ashram, a spiritual organization, so based on their public appearances and personality you created a notion about them, thinking all should be like that. Now let's see what you are asking? I did eat non-veg all through my life until Enlightenment, and then due to energy changes, physical body changes it went down and finally there came a time when I stopped all-together. Nowadays, I eat what I get, what is being cooked for the family. I do not command my will, there is no personal will left in me, that's what Self-realization is. I have a family and they all eat non-veg occasionally, and I can't change them overnight like I cannot change your mind/all beliefs/notions overnight. Not only animals have Prana, all plants have Prana too. Though I would say that human's digestive system is not made for eating non-veg and works best with vegetarian food, I am saying this from my own experience. If someone asks me before cooking, or if I am myself cooking I prefer vegetarian. I am a good cook and love cooking different cuisines. And I love Indian food, curries. Give up all your preset notions about Self Realized ones, you can only experience the TRUTH when you are ready to Accept the Human-ness in Humans! Brahm/THAT is in everyone and everything!

~ Adiguru
Whatever Divine wishes for anyone around me, it goes that way. I do not will, wish, intend or control such things around me. There is no performer within who can perform such things. Mystical powers are better put to good use for humanity at large. What powers I have may be known to those who experienced it through me, or to the world tomorrow if it has to be that way, if that is Divine's wish. Other than that there is no point in really talking about it. You call them Mystical because Universal Truth, Unified Whole is beyond your understanding as of now, but so is "WI-FI" for some of the Tribal people in today's world. Receiving email from one corner to the other, across the world in less than a minute is highly mystical too. Yes, I am a Software Professional. (Laughs)

~ Adiguru