I go to many Spiritual Groups, Religious activities, and I enjoy them, and I know in someway I am running from myself. But when I leave all groups and such activities, I feel lost, I feel something is missing, and that just puts me back into those groups and then I again start going on Hamster wheel, as you call it. Why do I feel lost? What is it that is missing from me?

There is nothing wrong attending Spiritual or Religious Group Activities. You are trying to justify your reasoning for them, which is not bad. Now if you are doing all that so you do not have to face yourself, and you are doing it to avoid yourself, then that's not helpful to you in any way. That longing, that missing something feeling inside is a really good feeling to have, it's the start, door of your Spiritual Postmortem. Next time when you feel that way, don't run, don't keep yourself busy, talk to yourself, ask yourself what is it? I can answer it for you, but then that answer will be for your mind only, I want you to have "Direct Experience" of it. You can start asking what is one thing that those Spiritual, Religious groups are giving you? The Sense of Belongingness. Right? You feel you belong to something larger than yourself. When you sit alone, that's what is missing from within you. Now that you know, pay attention to WHY you are ATTACHING your Sense of belongingness to something "External" to you? Keep going within, keep questioning yourself, until you get your answers!

~ Adiguru

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I am going through really painful and challenging time in my life, and I have to make some big decisions, whom should I have faith in? In God? Where should I put my faith?

There are two types of people in this world. 

1. Outer Scorers - These are the people who have an Outer Score Card all their life. Means whenever they did something or did not do something, they always looked at OTHERS to provide feedback, approval, appreciation or something. And based on what they RECEIVED from others they GRADED themselves on their Score Card. If someone said, oh you are pathetic, you messed it up, you are bad, instantly they graded themselves Zero or even Negative. If someone said Wow you are awesome, you did a good job, you are good, they graded themselves very high on their Score Card. So such people are ALWAYS on the MERCY of others around them, to make them feel good or bad. Such people blame OTHERS for their Unhappiness most of the time. After spending a LONG time with Outer Score Card, they lack TRUE SELF CONFIDENCE. If they find NO ONE around them providing feedback, approvals, appreciation or anything, they feel ANXIOUS about themselves and about their own decisions in life. Truly they NEVER developed FAITH in themselves. If one has no faith in oneself then life becomes a misery, tension, worries, anxiety, depression, grumpy, loneliness, dissatisfaction story.

2. Inner Scorers - These people have their philosophy of life very straight, they know the Universal or Cosmic Laws, like laws of Karma. These people DO NOT care what others may think about them. They DO NOT look for any approvals, permissions, appreciations or ANY feedback from others. They are HIGHLY WATCHFUL about their own INTENTIONS. And if they know their Intention is right, action in life may appear to be bad, horrible, painful to others, still, they will grade themselves really HIGH. And if they know that even though their Action may look good on the surface but their INTENTION, VOLITION isn't right, then they will grade themselves poorly. Such people are HIGHLY Confident in life, they place 100% of their FAITH in THEMSELVES. They do not need others to shove in or inject Faith, Self Confidence in them. They at times face tons of adversities in life because of their Inner Scoring System, but because they have Faith within themselves, they easily face and across all challenges. Their Self Esteem is HIGH, they NEVER need others to fulfill their own need for Self Esteem. They are HAPPY with themselves, they do not need others, to make them happy, neither do they blame others for making them unhappy. They are in control of themselves all the time. Because of Faith in themselves, they have the courage to FIGHT with Life if needed. They have Fighter Spirit.

No matter how much Stormy the weather may be, you will not find Dead Birds around. Why? A bird NEVER places her Faith, Trust on the branch, on the Tree, she is sitting. She places her faith in herself, and flies off, at the slightest shaking of branches, and that's what keeps her safe. So one should place their Faith in Oneself only. Hope this helps you understand what kind of score card you have and hope you are able to place your faith in yourself.

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You talk like Gautam Buddha, did you pursue Buddhism?

No, I did not study, or pursue Buddhism, nor do I have much knowledge about that. It would be nice to read the book about Buddha's life someday. The point is, all Self Realized ones talk the same way here or there, isn't it? Why? The Truth is ONE, truth is same, and there are only so many ways, finite number of ways to represent it. Hence you find similarities. Though TRUTH can never be explained using any medium of Language, it can only be directly experienced. 

~ Adiguru

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