In need for Self-Love; who is it that loves whom?

First, understand what is meant by “Self” when we say Self-Love. In Western theories, in the philosophy, it is mentioned as “self”, while in all Spiritual Books, Texts it’s mentioned as “Self”. Self in Modern world, Western Philosophy is referring to Physical Body, Mind, Emotions and all Gross Identities that one may have. So when one has to practice Self-Love, implement it in life, they have to have a Subject-Object relationship, and one can implement it by loving, caring for their body, mind, emotions, going easy on them, be forgiving, be caring for their body, mind, emotions. So when it's about body, mind, emotions, then there is something "to do" in order to experience it, achieve it.

Quite opposite of this is Self that is mentioned in Spiritual Books and Scriptures, because there “Self” is being referred to “Soul/Atma”. We know we are Soul, and we have a body, we have a mind, we have emotions. We are not our body, we are not our mind, and we are not our emotions. We do not have to mistake our Identity as Body, Mind or Emotions. When I say Mind here, I am considering the Ego too and all the personalities that ego creates, like “happy me”, “unhappy me”, “poor me” etc.

Now “Love” as per your mind's understanding is something that can be given or taken. And you identify with your mind, so Love for you is something that someone from outside needs to give you and you can give them. Your mind is looking for a Subject-Object-Relationship. But that’s not true. Expression of love can be exchanged, can be given or taken, Love itself cannot be given or taken because Love is a STATE. State of What? State of the SOUL. Expression of it comes out in various ways, it could be displayed through our emotions, through touch, through a hug, talks, creativity, or something else, or it may not need any expression at all. In life, in duality, we experience that state through somebody or something else, because to know what we have inside, it needs to be reflected and for reflection, it needs to have a Surface/background, which could be other humans, animals, birds, plants, flowers or anything. All the time you are in this LOVE STATE, but you don’t know it. Because you are identified with your body, mind, ego and emotions, which feeds on duality, the subject-object relationship, and you are always busy with your mind, ego, emotions or body. So whole life in order to find love people keep running outward, towards other people or God. It’s the similar thing with happiness. A person could be happy within, WITHOUT any external reason, but still most people chase happiness outside. One could be in a very pleasant mood without any reason, and people will end up asking him/her the reason behind their pleasant mood or happiness, because mind needs "association/relationship", in order to understand something, to know something, but there may not be any reason, one may simply be joyful within. 

Self-Love means the Soul’s State of Love, it’s a natural state to be. So there is no need to achieve it. You can’t go around achieving, doing, getting what you already have, what you already are. The problem is, you DO NOT Experience it. You think it’s like a light bulb, at times it’s ON, and most of the time it’s OFF and you run around trying to figure out how to turn it ON, you reach out to other people, you try to change circumstances, and you try to DO SOMETHING to turn the Switch on. But it can’t be turned ON PERMANENTLY from something outside, yes TEMPORARILY (falsely)  it can be turned on from outside like you can be in the company of happy, loving people, money making job, or visiting scenic vistas. What you need to understand is that the switch for the light bulb is PERMANENTLY ON, you need to do nothing from outside to turn it on. That light bulb is ALWAYS ON. You ONLY have to remove those tons of Light/Lamp shades that you have placed on it. Now, what are those lamp shades? What is preventing you experiencing your own natural state? Your OWN MIND, which keeps telling you, this is wrong, that is bad, this isn’t right, you made a mistake, you are not doing good, you are messed up, you are sick, you are unhappy and all those long self-pity, sob stories that your mind keeps on churning and you keep on BUYING into that. You need to STOP buying into the nonsense of your mind. How? Focus on your breath, do meditation, fix your Pranic energy. Mind creates those stories, by reminding you of your past deeds, past choices, past intentions, actions, or Future imaginations, future goals, agendas. Mind relies on memories (past) and imagination (future) to tell you that you are unhappy now because you were happy earlier, condition (person/job/money/child/nature/situations) to be happy was that, which is not there now, so you are unhappy. Memories/The Past or Imagination/Future for the mind is Point A, and your NOW/Present is Point B, TIME is a Reference point for the mind. The way you lived that Point A or the way you will live in future, a mind creates the perception/definition of happiness for you. Now that perception is NOT there, so according to mind’s definition point B is an unhappy situation. And you buy into it, oh yea right, this is why I am unhappy, let me try to RECREATE (Past) or CREATE (Future) those situations so I can be happy and there you go….on a long pursuit of happiness, which will again be Temporary. Because the world is changing every moment, people change, everything changes, then where is PERMANENCE? YOU! You are Permanence. Your Soul’s State of Love is Permanent, so stop buying into your own mental stories, theories, stop dwelling in PAST or FUTURE. The less you will pay attention to mind, the more you will dwell in NOW and the more you will be able to experience your own permanent state of love. To experience it you need to exercise your own individual volition, to NOT listen to the stories of your mind, so yes it is an individual choice. This is what Self-Love is.

~ Adiguru