Aah! The most painful, yet most important lesson to learn. How?
The Soul is WHOLE and is never divided. The longing that a feminine feel towards any masculine, or vice-versa is the “urge” to balance within. When we love someone, we behold that state of "longing" in ourselves and it takes us closer to Divine if we learn the lesson of Unconditional Love. But the way to learn it is through someone other than us. Why? The mind needs to have a Subject-Object relationship in order to feel or understand anything. The mind doesn’t understand that the “Seer, seen and Seeing” are not three but one. The mind doesn’t understand that the “Experience, Experiencer, Experiencing” are one and not three different things/aspects. So in mind, they have to be divided. That’s where this whole logic of Twin Flames, Soul Mates comes into creation. For mental gymnastics, it is a good thing to play around. But on Spiritual Path some day we have to abandon mind, then what is the point of feeding such concepts/explanations to mind?
As a Human, you came into this world to bring the balance back through love. In order to understand it, feel it, you got attached to a Male or Female in a really strong way. So he or she can Reflect what you have inside, and you can improve. The lesson is only one through such pursuits, "Balancing the Masculine and Feminine Within" and that balance comes through “Learning to love Unconditionally”, NOT to someone else, but to yourself. If regardless of all odd conditions, you end up loving him or her very much, then you are holding your own Feminine or Masculine Energy, within, you are realizing it. It’s just that sometimes the BALANCE is LOST. When the feminine in you starts craving, missing him so much that means the Feminine energy in you has gone low, you go out of touch from your own femininity and you need ANOTHER person as an Object to feel intensely feminine again. And he becomes the one who makes you feel like a woman and who brings you closer to yourself. You see the Reflection of your own femininity in him. So that longing actually is NOT for him, that longing is for staying in CONSTANT touch with your own Femininity. Same is the case with men & Masculine within.
Learning to love Unconditionally means ACCEPTANCE. Accepting the way things are, the way he or she is, without trying to change him or her, forcing to change his/her life, understanding that it's NOT about the other anyways, it's about YOU. You are FREE the moment you accept the flow of life, the way another person is, and stop trying to change him/her endlessly, trying to fit into his/her world, or trying to fit them into your world. When you free yourself, that means you LOVE yourself. You care enough for yourself, to not cause any useless suffering, drama, and pangs of endless bullshit of mind, which sees that Other Personas some Separated Being. We all are ONE. There is no separation. Acceptance means you love yourself Unconditionally, regardless of all odd conditions around you in life. You are not causing any Self-Violence through self-talks full of hatred and denial.
Once you start accepting the reality, the energies within you are balanced and you will feel fully feminine or masculine all by yourself from within, the need for an external person/soul, a mental object will be GONE! This is the ArdhNarishwar state of Shiva. It's the balance of Masculine and Feminine Energy within us, so we are not driven by "longing" based inclination towards male, or female, so our hormones do not drive us and our emotions, mind do not manipulate us. We become ONE WHOLE person and stay in the perfect balance of Masculine and Feminine within and do not need other person/object to get us in touch with our own self.
~ Adiguru
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Thanks!