When you say, you need a life partner, and you are looking for a relationship, answer this question, WHY? It doesn't matter whether you "need" one or "want" one. Let's not play with those words. So why do you need a life partner, why are you looking for a relationship? Maybe you are single and you do not have one, maybe you are in a relationship and something is missing there. Whether you are already in a relationship or not, let's see on what all planes you are experiencing the "separation". Separation/Distance/Something missing, with or without a partner in life could be felt at multiple levels/planes.
- Physical
- Mental
- Emotional
- Spiritual/Soul
You might be missing the physical intimacy, emotional intimacy, you may have mental/worldly goals of society, money, kids to achieve, or you may be experiencing spiritual loneliness, in other words, you may have a longing in your Soul. Any or all of this could make you feel you need a "partner or life partner" or you need a union/integration with your partner. This indicates that there is a "need" in you. A "need" indicates that you are NOT whole, you have holes. You are not a complete being in yourself and you are looking for someone, something other than you to complete you, make you whole. This whole philosophy, psychology in itself is incorrect. How? When two incomplete beings come into a partnership, that relationship will be based on "transactions", you give me this, I will give you that. Slowly it will go to the level of "you did not give me this", so " I am not giving you that". Because in relationship based on transactions, there will be "expectations" and whole life will become a pursuit of "trying to fulfill each other's expectations" and there will be a lot of unhappiness in the process, because one can NEVER make the other "whole" and "content", one cannot provide "fulfillment" to the other, instead one will be spent, tortured physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Here I am not saying do not enter into the partnerships, relationships for physical, mental, emotional or other reasons, or need. Do that if you need to, but DO NOT EXPECT any kind of permanent fulfillment from such pursuits. That very expectation will become the cause of unhappiness in you and you will end up blaming the other. The problem is not such transactional partnerships, relationships, the problem is your "attachment to your expectations" from them. Some people do have a very good understanding of the nature of such relationships and they do fine, they may or may not be walking the spiritual path, may not have turned inward, but they run their transaction based business/relationships in a healthy way. They acknowledge the receiving and give generously to the other, without having many expectations. But such people are rare. No matter how much mental or worldly a relationship may be with the other person or business/company or anything, sooner or later there will be Emotional Attachment, which will create unhappiness due to unfulfilled desires.
If you are entering or are already into any physical, emotional, mental relationship, set your expectations right and try to move the level/plane of that relationship to "Spiritual". This cannot be done by one person alone, it has to be mutual between the two. Moving the relationship to Spiritual Plane will help you see "your reflection" in your partner, and see "their reflection" in you, it will help you fill the holes in you, it will help you become "whole" together. You may have relationships with different people for different needs/reasons, you can use each one of them to see your reflection and fix yourself. That is the REAL purpose of having any kind of relationships in this world/life. Yes, there can be hundreds of "unreal/worldly" purposes to relationships and you may end up beating yourself for whole life, you can kill as much time/life as you want, on the name of such "unreal" purposes, or chose differently, right now. I am not saying "leave" everything, I am saying "shift/move" your focus/priority from unreal purposes to the real purpose. You may stay outward all life trying to fulfill the void in you through other people and on the name of love, sex, emotional intimacy, but it's a pursuit designed to FAIL always if you do not use it to grow spiritually. You can read more about the Reflection process here. Your partner may or may not be ready for any Spiritual understanding, but you can always make it that way for yourself, to grow spiritually, there is no need to wait, life is short and precious. Everyone is running at a different timeline, and that's OK. Not all lemons will be ripe on the lemon tree the same day.
When a person becomes "whole" they do not NEED any partner, doesn't mean they can't have one, but then partnership/relationship is NOT based on need. When there is no need, there are no desires/expectations attached. It's more like sharing whole existence with each other. There is no "personal love" in such relationship instead the foundation is laid on "Universal Love". There are no transactions happening with each other, there is just being Bliss, Peace, and Divine Love. These two people do not exist as two separate entities, they are ONE entity in Union with the ONE/DIVINE. When two such "whole" people enter into such a Divine Partnership, they do not become two whole people, because there is just "one whole/wholeness", there are no two persons/people entering into the relationship, there is wholeness working, living, breathing and is in an embrace with itself.
Perfect Romance!
In this case, the equation is not 1+1, which results in two. Instead, 1 is in Union/Overlap with 1 and stays as 1 and could become 11 to fulfill Cosmic Will.
~ Adiguru
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