Goddess Kali - Ultimate Transformer

Since childhood I was intrigued by Goddess Durga and Goddess Kali. Goddess Durga felt like Superhuman Mother to me and later in life I learned that I carry Durga archetype personality myself. But Goddess Kali just amazed me and I felt the ferocity of her as a demon slayer when I looked at her deity but in a way I always felt I cannot understand her true presence. Her presence as Shakti meant for something else, that I had no idea about. I never felt fearful though. Whenever I saw wrong happening in this world around me, atrocities with children, women, men, and crime against humanity I felt rage inside me and that rage often gave me inner strength to stand up and face the challenges of life. Those were the times I remembered Kali thinking that is how she must have felt seeing demons wreaking havoc all around and that's why her pictures, deity looks ferocious. She protects the good ones and slays the demons. She herself is all Darkness and Blue in color and only Darkness can fight the darkness. Goddesses are certain types of Shakti/Power in themselves.



Later while going through my Spiritual Journey I realized that Kali is the feminine form of Kaal/Time and she not only slays demons, she also diminishes Time. She is the one who takes us beyond time and space. Those demons are nothing but our Ego Heads that we carry around. The skirt of hands that she wears is the Karma that she takes from us and frees us from all bondage. She is the giver of Liberation.

Recently it came to me that I want to know Mother Kali in her true form as a direct experience. I learned enough through books and all, now I wanted real experience of Mother, specially wanted to see her true picture to find out does she really looks ferocious. So I sat down closed my eyes and called her. Slowly I lost my body consciousness and there appeared dark palpitating energy of the size of the Cosmos surrounded by white milky way galaxy sort of. That black energy within was moving, breathing, living, contracting, expanding with a HUM sound and it felt as if it is me, or the sense of me being other than Mother Kali was not there, I couldn't see, feel where was me and where was The Mother. Clearly my sense of place, time was also not there, neither was my body or anything as me separate from her existed in that moment. Then started knowing as if that black moving energy engulfed by white was talking to me, and said "The Dark Nothingness that you fell into right before Self Realization was Me/Mother Kali, you fell in my lap, you fell into me". Moving, living, breathing black energy was now talking.


Then came a very strong wave of Love, just pure unconditional love and tears started rolling down my cheeks. Overwhelmed I opened my eyes and slowly came back to my senses, still overpowered by love which stayed with me, as me for next 2 days and I couldn't be stunned more by it's presence, presence of Mother Kali in me or as me. What I saw looked like picture above to an extent, except that white milky way galaxy was very thin around the periphery and dark/black palpitating energy was occupying the major portion.

It occurred to me that She is the transforming force/power/shakti, she is the one who took all my karma, she is the one who gave me liberation, she is the one who took me beyond time and space, she is the one who helped me stand up in life for anything wrong, she is the one who devastates what is not suppose to survive, she is there when my external breathing stopped. She is the destroyer of our Ego, she is the destroyer of useless thoughts, and in the end she is pure love, unconditional love and she doesn't look like how we portray her, she loves us unconditionally and she saves us from the mire of Maya.

Mother Kali is the Ultimate Transformer!

~ Adiguru

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Thanks!